Sisters and Graves Read online

  “Youdon’tknow?Shutupandtellthetruth.”

  Felix,ChrysieandCyruswerewatchingthetwoofusfightasiftheywere watchingatennismatch,headsbackandforth,utterlysilent.

  “I.Don’t.Know.Quitbeingsuchacowbi…”Shetookadeepbreathand begged,“…listen.”

  “Excuseme,”Isaid,eyesnarrowingasIconsideredher.“Youshouldhave toldmewhatwasgoingonbeforeMarthawaspinningyoutothefloorand Jessietothewallforjusttryingtohelpyou.It never shouldhavegottentothis point.”

  “SoIdidn’t.I’msorry.”

  “Speaknow.”

  Wefacedoff,staringateachother,bothofusbreathingheavily.

  Brantookadeepbreath,swallowedandthentookanotherbreath.Shetried tospeaknormally,butshewasshoutingbyhersecondword.“IsaidIdon’t know!Gods.”

  “Iknowwhenyou’relying,Bran.WhatIdon’tknowiswhyyou’relying.

  Youcamehereforhelp.You’regoingtohavetotelluseventually.”

  BranswallowedandfinallyIheardtruthfromhermouth,“Idon’twantto.”

  “Why?”

  “Iwasstupid.Andthestorybeginswithsomethingthatruinseverything.”

  “Quitbeingmelodramatic.”

  “I’mnot,”shesaid.AndIrecognizedthetruthofitagain.Isawthatlook onherface—theonethathurtforme,anditfrozemeinsideofmysoul. What couldhavehappenedthatwouldaffectmeeventhoughIwassofaraway.Her expressionsaidthathertruthwasmytruth.Thatthiswouldhurtmetoo.That whateverhappenedwouldchangeeverythingjustasshe’dsaid.SweetHecate, whatwasgoingon?

  “Howdoweknowyou’llbesafe,”FelixaskedBran,cuttingin.

  “Oncewhateverhappensisover,it’soverforawhile.”

  “Idon’tknow,”Cyrussaid.

  “Martha,”Iaddressedthehousebutspokeclearlysothateveryonecould hearme.“Slammysistertothefloorthemomentshefeelswrongtoyouagain.”

  Chapter4

  Inmydefense,Iwasfedup.Branwasstillpeelingherselfoutofthe pentacle.Shewaswhite,sopaleandpastythatshelookedasifshehadabad caseoftheflu.ThereweredarkcirclesunderhereyesandI’dwatchedhernot reallyeatforthelasttime.

  “Tellmewhatisgoingon,”Isaid,hatingmyselfforwhatI’ddoneasI handedheracupofwarmtea.

  Branrubbedoneeyewhilesheliftedtheteatohermouth.Itwassteaming andheavilysugaredup.I’daddedcreamandalittlevanillatoo.Shetookalong slowsip,lettingitrollaroundhermouthandthenswallowed.Shetookanother drinkandthen,finally,openedhermouthtoreply.I’dmadeaxxteawhich maskedwhatI’ddone.

  Isniffedassheclosedhermouthandtiltedherheadtotheside.Bran almostgrowled,“Youmassivecow-witch.Iwillmakeyoupay.”

  Giventhatshewasheavilydosedwithtruthserum,whatevershehadin storeformewasprobablyugly.Andvery,veryintended.

  “Ican’thelpyouifyouwon’ttellme,”Isaid.AndthenIchokedalittlebit asBran’s…Gods. Bran’s eyestearedup.Ishookmyheadinsheerprotest—we werethechildrenofasnake.Wedidn’tcrylikethis.Ialmostpleadedwithherto notbedoingwhatshewasdoingasIsaid,“Ididnotmakeyoucry.”

  “ButI’llmakeyoucry,”Bransaidandatearrolleddownherface.“Itwon’t bethesame everagain.Ican’ttellyou.”

  “Tellme,”Iordered.Iwatchedtheserumworkinher,pushingthetruthat thebackofherteeth,yankingonhervocalcords,demandingthatshegiveup hersecrets.

  Sheopenedhermouth,closedit,shookherheadandthensaid,“I haa….damnit!Idon’thateyou.”

  “Idon’thateyoueither,”Itoldher.Thedoorcreakedopenbehindher,but shedidn’tlookback.IglancedupandsawFelixandChrysieinthedoorway.I wonderedhowmuchofwhatwashappeningtheyunderstood.Wasitpossiblefor anyonebutmeandBrantoknowhowbigofabetrayalitwasforoneofusto

  truthserumtheother?

  “Ican’tbelieveyoutruthserumedme.”

  Shewassoright.ButItoldhermyreasoninganyway,“Youhavebeenhere twoweeks!YouhavetriggeredwardsinMartha.Somethingisgoingon,andI can’thelpyouifyoudon’tgivemeafriggingclue.Alsoyouwereterrifying today. Terrifying. ”

  “I….Rue…Gods….Rue…”

  “OhmyHecate,BrankaPenelopeJones,speak.Speakfortheloveofthe pantheonofthegods.Spillit.We’llgetthroughit.”

  “Mother…”

  Ifeltsickimmediately.Whathad shedone?What?Ishouldn’tevenbe surprisedthatitstartedwith,“Mother…” Wasn’tshethesourceofmostofthe madnessinourlives?WhatgameshadshebeenplayingwithBranwhileMother hadbeensettingmeuphere?

  “Mother…”

  Iclosedmyeyes,waitingforit.Therewasnowayitwasn’tgoingtobe bad.Notwhenitstartedwith,“Mother.”

  “She…godsRue...she…”

  “Spititout.”Thewordswererough,butmytonewasn’t.Iknew—alreadyI knew—thatmylifewasnevergoingtobethesameagain.

  “Rue,Daddyisn’t ourDad.”

  Icouldn’tevenprocessthatstatement.Thatwas not true.Nomatterthe truthserum.Itwas nottrue.

  “Mother…Rue…Motherhasbeenlovepotioninghim,everymorningour entirelives.”

  Chrysiesqueaked.ButallIcoulddowasstare.Agrowingneedtovomit wascrawlingupmythroat.

  “Inthegreensmoothiehedrinks?Theonewithorganickaleand cucumber?”

  Mothermadeitonlyforhim.Nowthereasonwhywecouldn’thaveasip, ever,wassoveryclear.Therewasabuzzinginmyears,butitdidn’tdrownout Bran’svoice.

  “WehavedifferentDads.Wedon’tevenhavethesameDad.”

  Felixputhishandsonmyshouldersandpushedgentlydown.Isatina chairthathadn’tbeentherebeforeandIhadn’trealizedhadbeenplacedbehind me.Idroppedmyheadtobetweenmykneesandlettheairwhistleinandoutof mylungs.Afteramoment,Itwistedmyheadsoitwasstillonmylap,butI couldseemysister.

  Mytruth-serumed,whiteasabadcaseoftheflu,torturedsister.Icouldn’t

  evenimagine.NowIknewwhyshe’dbeenavoidingme,hanginguponme,not answeringwhenIaskedherwhatwasgoingon.Ihad knownsomethingwasup, butIwould never haveimaginedthis.Notever.

  Brankepttalking.Ihadtruthserumedher,shecouldn’tstopnow.Thetruth serumwasgallopingaheadlikeIdeserved.Itwasn’tgivingmetimetothinkor process.AndBranwouldhavebeengentler,ifIhadgivenherthechoice.

  “Mothergotpregnantwithyou,movedtoPortland,gotpregnantwithme, basicallytookDaddyforherown,andmovedusalltotheisland.Hewasinlove withsomeoneelseandshejust…tookhim.It’sallalie.”

  “Weshouldhaveknown,”Isaidasmyentirelifeshiftedinmyhead.Itwas likeIhadbeenseeinginthedarkandsomeonehadjustturnedonthelight.

  “Godsand monsters. WeshouldhaveKNOWN.”

  “Yes,”Bransaid,flatly.Hereyeswereshining—sadandangry.

  I’msureshewasthinkingthesamethingasme.ItwasOBVIOUS.We wereso blind and stupid.

  Istoodupandstartedfranticallyshufflingthroughourcupboards.Ididn’t drink.ButIwantedalcoholverymuchrightnow.IwanteditsobadIcouldtaste itinmymouth.

  “Didyoutell,Daddy?”Mywordsfloatedovermyshouldersincetherewas nowayIcouldhandleseeingBran’sfaceassheanswered.

  “Yes.Hasn’thecalled?”

  Gods.Yeshehadcalled.Itcamebacksoveryclearly.

  “Baby,”Daddysaid.“IjustwantyoutoknowhowmuchIloveyou.

  Nothingwilleverchangethat.”

  “IknowDaddy,”Isaid.

  “It’simportantthatyouknow,Verucababy,Iloveyou.”

 
He’dcalledandhe’dtoldmehelovedmenomatterwhat.Ihadjust thoughthewasbeingsweet.Sincehewasoften.I’dshruggeditoffandfocused onmytroubles.Itwasapunchinthegut.DaddyhadknownthatBranwouldtell me.Hehadknownthatitwoulddestroyme.Howcouldheloveme?Iwasthe childofasnake.Asnakewhohadstolenhimfromhislifeandhislove.He’d beenlovepotionedtoloveus.He’dbeenlovepotionedtocare.Hedidn’tlove me.

  “Martha,”Itoldthehouse,“Ineedwine.”

  Therewasashufflingandacupboardopened.Itwasn’twine.Itwas somethingamberanditlookedlikeitwouldhurtasitwentdown.Perfect.I wanted tohurt.Iwantedittohurtsobadthisvoidinmychestwouldbefilled.

  “Whatishedoing?”MyhandswereshakingasIopenedthebottle.This lookedlikesomethingthatyouputinasmallcup.Oneofthedollopsofbooze

  thatmadeafaintingchickinthemoviescomebacktoherself.Ididnotdollop thealcohol.Ididn’tcare.Ifoundawaterglassandamug.Ifilledthemquickly, splashingonthecounter.Ihandedonetomysister.Itookanotherformyselfand leftthepuddleandthebottleonthecounter.

  “Rue,maybe…”Felix’svoicewasgentleashetriedtofindawaytotellme nottodrink.Rightnow,Ididn’thaveitinmetoberesponsible.Rightnow,I didn’tcare.

  “Leaveit,Felix,”Chrysiesaid.She’dbeensilentwithanemotion-filled gazethatsaidshewashurtingforme.ThatwassomethingIdidn’twanttosee.

  Couldn’taddtoeverythinghappeninginsideofme.

  Branshookherheadandthensaidsoftly,“Heisn’tsaying.He’sso confused.”

  “That’swhyyoufiguredouthowtoblockMother’smagic.”

  “Hedeservestimetofigureoutwhathewants.Iputamagicblockonher thatIstolefromHazel.It’lltakeafewmonthstofade.Idestroyedherpotions stuffandallofherback-stock.”

  Mybreathwhistled.Motherhadpotionsbrewing allthetime.Herback-stockwaseffortandproductionthatwentbacklongerthaneitherofushadbeen alive.Speakingofmakingpeoplepay,Branwasinaprecariousposition.Mother wasasvengeance-orientedasBranandI.Andyet,IwasjealousIhadn’tbeen theretohelphercrushthatback-stockasitdeserved.

  “I…”IwantedtobebigenoughtosaythatDaddyshouldleaveourMother.

  Iwantedtobeunselfishwhenitcametomyblueberrypancakemaking,ever cheerful,alwayslovingDaddy.Therewasthisquiet,horriblepartofmethatwas soverygratefultomymotherforgivingmeDaddy.Except.Gods.ExceptI wantedtobesomeonedifferentthanthat.

  Atearrolleddownmycheek.IdeservedthefieryhellsofHades.Ideserved tobedestroyed.Ideservedformymagictobestolenfromme.Ideserved horrible,terriblethings.

  “Idon’twanthimtoleave,”ItoldherandthenIthrewmyglassagainstthe wall.Itshatteredandwhateverthatamberstuffwassprayedusall.“Idon’twant tolosehim.”

  Brannoddedsilently.Sheknew.Sheknewhowmuchitmatteredthatour parentslovedeachother.WhenyouhadamotherlikeAutumnJones,itmattered verymuchtohaveafatherlikeTheodoreJones.

  Istood,lookedaroundandsawthebrokengazeofChrysie.Mysister—

  we’dneverbethesame.Shehadn’tbeenwrongwhenshewarnedme.And Felix.GodsFelix.Hiseyesshonewithloveandpainforme,andIjust couldn’t.

  “I…”

  Icrossedtheroominaboundandflewoutthedoor.Iranuntilithurt.I couldhearmysisterpoundingbesideme.Running.Running.Runningfromour Mother.Likeusual.Fromfeelingswedidn’tknowhowtoprocess.Fromour livesandourhistoryandourbaggageandthesnakesinsideofus.

  Butyoucouldn’tevergetawayfromthemonsterinsideofyou.Nomatter howfastyouran.

  *****

  Ididn’tthinkasIran,butIwasn’tsurprisedwhenIfoundmyselfracing downthelaneofcypresstreesinthewoods.TheHallowfamilyhadfoundedSt.

  Angelus.Theiroriginalestatewasinruins,buttheCypresslanethathadledto theirhouseremained.Theirgraveyardremained.Thecypressgrovearoundthe graveyardthatledintotheoakgroveandeventuallytothelakeandthecollege andwoodsthatdidn’tcalltomybloodandmagic.Woodsthatwerewoods whereasthesetreeswereapartofme.Itwashardtoexplain.Itwasmagic.It wasfamily.

  Iheadedoffthepathandintothecypressgrove,usingmymagictoleapthe stonefencethatkeptmefromthegravesofmyancestors.Ididn’teventhinkasI floppeddownontomyfavoritegraveandlaidundertheangel.

  “Hecate,”Isaid.ItwasallIhadtosay.Therewerenowords.Therewas nothing.

  “Yes,”Bransaid.

  Ipressedmyheadagainstthethicklawnoverthegraveandstaredupatthe carvedstoneangelwithitssadfaceandwide-spreadwings.

  “Whyanangel,”Branaskedasshestaredupatthesky.“We’repagans.”

  Ishookmyheadandstaredhighatthesky.Cloudshadrolledinandthesky wascovered.Thestarswereobscuredandtherewasnocomfortinthesky,the angel,orthegrove.

  “Ihateher,”Isaid.“Ihatehersomuch.”

  “It’slikeafireinsideofme.Afiremadeofthornsthatprodmeallthe time.”Bran’svoicewassoft.Therewassomuchtosayandthatdidn’tneedto besaid.Sheknew.Iknew.Wekneweachotherlikesnakesfromthesamenest.

  We were snakesfromthesamenestwho’dthought—thatmaybe—becauseof Daddyweweremore.Butnowweknewthetruth,weweren’tanythingbut snakes.

  IspenttoomuchtimetryingandfailingtobelikeDaddy.Toomuchtime thinkingofwhathe’ddoandtryingtoliveuptothatsideofme.

  “YourotherfamilyisinBoston.”

  Iheardthewords,butIdidn’twanttohearthem.Ididn’thave another family.IhadBran.Mother—maysheburn.ButDaddyhadneverbeenmine.

  “Baby,”Daddysaid.“IjustwantyoutoknowhowmuchIloveyou.

  Nothingwilleverchangethat.” Icouldhearhisvoiceinmyhead.Thelies.

  Clearlythepotionhadn’tfadedenough.Clearlyhehadn’twokenfully.

  “Howlongwillittake,”Iasked,“untilthepotionsareoutofhissystem?”

  “Whatareyoutalkingabout?”Bran’sfacewasn’tseeableinthedarkness.

  Justtheshapeoftheangelagainstthesky,probablyonlyviewablebecauseof themagicI’dtakenholdofandnotletgo.Akillingspellhoveredinsideofme, readytogo.Iwanted,neededtokillsomeone.Something.Butwho?What?

  Noamountofdestructionorvengeancewouldtakebackwhathadbeen done.

  “Howlongdoesittakeforthepotionstofadeandforhimtocometohis senses?”

  “Shepotionedhimdaily,Rue.Ittookliketwodaysprobably. You should knowbetterthanme.”

  But…butIhadspokentoDaddyonSundayoverbreakfast.He’dtoldmehe lovedme.He'dsoundedweirdandupset,but…

  “Whatdidsheputinthepotion?”

  “Sheusedthebasicone.Theonewithjasmine,greenwillow,and celandine.”

  “Thebasewascelandine?”

  “Whatisyourproblem?I’mnotapotionsnerdlikeyou.Ithinkso…”

  “Whatcolorwasit?”

  “Itwasyellow.Aclearyellowanditsmelledlikeflowers,sunshine,andI don’tknow…rainbows.”Hervoicewasangrybutasshesaidit,herhandtook mine.ShesqueezedandIsqueezedback.Whoelsewouldeverunderstandwhat this meant?

  Thatwouldhavebeenoutofhissystemin,atmost,threedays.Andnot veryefficientafterlike—36hours.Itwasthesimplestofthepotions.Shegaveit tohimdaily.Heprobablyjustrememberedlovingus.Heprobablyjusthadn’t beenabletoseparateyearsofbeingmanipulatedfromhisrealfeelings.

  “GodsI hateher,”Isaidanditwas true. I hated her.Ihatedthethingsshe did.Thewayyoucouldnevertellwhatshewasupto.Thewayshemanipulated andcontrolled.AndIlovedher
.AsmuchasI hated her,Ilovedher.

  “We’redumb,Rue.”

  “Weshouldhaveknown.”

  “Weshouldhavestoppeditalongtimeago.”

  “Iwonderwhatit’slikeinherhead,”Isaid.“Whereshefelttheneedto stealsomeonefromtheirlifeand make themloveher.”

  Herfacewasinmyhead.Herimage.Thatportlyhousewifewhohadsmall,

  coldeyes.Ididn’tlooklikeher.AndasmuchasI was likeherontheinside,I wantedtobedifferent.IwantedmyDaddytobemyDaddyandIwantedtobe likehim.

  “It’sawastelandinsideofher,Rue.”

  BecauseIdidn’twanttothinkaboutMotheranymore.OrDaddy.Iasked,

  “WhoisyourDad?”

  Brandidn’tanswer.

  “Iknowyouknow.”

  Sheshiftedagainstmeandsatup.“Theangeldoesn’tmakeanysense.”

  “Iknow,”Iagreedandthenaskedagain,“WhoisyourDad?”

  Icouldjustseeherwrapherarmsaroundherkneesandpressherfaceinto herknees.“He’sinPortland.Hehasredhair,freckles,andgreeneyes.”

  “Doeshehaveotherkids?”

  “Idon’tknow.IwatchedhimfromacrossthestreetforlikeadayandthenI left.”

  “Liar.”

  “Hedoesn’tmatter,”shelied.Clearly,theoneswallowoftruthserumhad burnedout.

  Chapter5

  “ WhyareMartha’swardstripping?”Idecidedtofocusonwhatmatteredso verymuchless.Ohmygods…Daddy.Ineededtoseehimrightthen.Iwantedto curlupnexttohimandlaymyheadonhisshoulder.Forthefirsttimeever,I wantedtore-watchoneofthosestupidmoviesonlyheloved.Iwantedtositat thekitchentablewhilehemadeblueberrypancakesandsangfolksongsoff-key.

  Ineededahugfromhim,rightthen,morethanIneededtobreathe.

  “Well…whenIfoundout,”Bransniffed,andhervoicecracked,butwe didn’thavetoseeeachother’spaininthedarkness.Itwouldhavebeenworseif wecould.“Itookoff.”